“Here you go sir, buy yourself some clothes. Get yourself a hair cut.”
“Erm… sorry?”
“Go on, take it. At least use it to get rid of the smell.”
“No, kind sir, you misunderstand. I’m not homeless, I just work from home.”
A scene from everyday life. Well, on the days when I force myself from the safe haven that is my house, at least. I’m just kidding of course, I never leave the house.
That’s the fantastical factor in working from home. I can be who I want to be. Suit and tie, or
socks and pants. Today I’m working in a business environment in my pyjama bottoms, how
cool is that!? And tomorrow I could be coding a standards compliant web site for a multi-
million dollar organisation whilst wearing my underpants over my trousers.
And this is my point; you don’t need to wear a posh suit, or shave off your evermore gingery
beard, or have kempt thoroughly combed and washed hair, or even deodorise regularly to
work effectively. While these things are important to your general welfare and may have an
impact on your relationship with your partner, the important thing when working remotely is to have a Superman style attitude, to match the pants.
Honesty and trust between worker and employer is so important. You have to have the right
attitude. Remote workers could hide behind the “online” status and actually be downstairs
painting their toenails. That’s an example, nothing to do with me. You wouldn’t find Clark
Kent sneaking off early under such an obvious guise! Well, yes you would, but nobody ever
notices, and it’s for a good cause, so let’s forgive him.
In a world of judgement and categorising of people into geeks and “cool cats” (use of that
term puts me in the former group), working remotely as a web developer is actually very cool.
Working from home doesn’t mean you’re comparable to a hermit crab. Don’t feel sorry for me for supposedly hunching over my dancing “typist fingers*” in my cellar of stale air, dripping pipes and with only a computer screen for light. I have the earth’s natural light beaming into my office. There are no drip drop sounds unless my ill-trained puppy is in the room. I have fresh air, relatively - when I remember to pop the extractor fan on “post effort”.
What’s more, my morning commute is a merry skip and a hop along the hallway, and it’s
free, not a smelly trip and start-stop along London’s tubes for a fee! I feel a song coming on!
And so what, I took over an hour at lunch watching Neighbours and Diagnosis Murder. Pah!
I’ll just work “late” until six, I’ll be home by 6:01. And if we need to force our noses to the
grindstone for an upcoming deadline, we can start an hour or so earlier while all the
commuters are smelling each other’s farts on a packed train.
Busy, off-putting murmurings from your co-workers? Are the office girls catching your eye
every five minutes, squawking away on the phone? No thank you! I can work with much
more delightful twittering birds in the garden in the summer, in the fresh air and with the bees conjuring relaxing hum.
And yet, aside from the un-smelly commuting and the pants on the outside of your trousers
lies a downside to working from home, and this is the lack of real human interaction. I’ve often danced in front of the mirror, and would have liked to have shared these moments with
the team. I’ve yet to fully embrace the web cam with the enotions members, which could
prove detrimental when seeing your morning-state colleagues. There is a state of healthy
banter in our online boardroom however that keeps workers amused. I say amused, I’m not
speaking on behalf of those on the other end of my jokes.
However, overall, working in the familiar settings of your own abode is more flexible, less
stressful, not as distracting as a busy office and more comfortable, which in my opinion all
result in greater efficiency and accuracy in your work. You just need to make sure you see
some real humans once in a while.
Now I really must take off these tights, after four days it’s all getting a bit uncomfortable…
* “Typist fingers” is in the dictionary as “a common ailment in geeks”, and is increasingly as abundant as the nose bleed throughout the world of coders.
Jamie is one of enotions’ top web developers